Sunday, December 26, 2010
home again, home again
A trip to San Francisco: The Science Institute, Tiffany's windows, imagining a registry at Williams Sonoma, an albino crocodile and a hole in my boot. Then seeing friends, seeing home, seeing trees and hills and green again, a real fireplace in a real living room with a real dog curled sleepily on the hearth. My own bed. Candlelight on Christmas Eve and Santa on the firetruck and a Christmas morning early - so early - and then later and later as we wait for Dad to return from a search and rescue search. He comes home and there are gifts and laughter and tension and hand-painted wrapping paper all in a pile on the floor as we move on to relatives, and then there are ham balls and Bavarian cream and hand-made table cloths and spilled coffee and then it is back to my own bed, where I get up to be sick and sit on the floor and wonder why it is all so overwhelming to me. And I am reminded that I can rest and rest peacefully, finally, and so I do. Because I am overwhelmed, at times, but that is life, and this is home, and I am loved.